If You Love Someone
by Roherwen
Summary: This is Jon's POV at Alanna's wedding. not AJ, but don't read if you hate Jon. [standalone]


A/N: Just so everyone knows where I stand, I am an AJ fan, but I fully respect Alanna's decision not to marry Jon. It would have been all wrong for her. But I did think that she and Jon were good for each other during the time of their relationship, and I have no animosity towards Jonathan. On with it then….

If You Love Someone…

A warm ocean breeze tousled the ebony hair of Jonathan of Conte as he watched the two people in front of him. He and his newly crowned Queen were at Pirate's Swoop to witness the marriage of their friends, Alanna of Olau and George Cooper, now baron of Pirate's Swoop.

Jonathan remembered receiving the letter from Alanna. The letter that with its opening statement told everything Jon had dreaded. She was engaged to George. He knew that she would be happy with him, and perhaps that was what bothered him most.

True, he wanted her to be happy, but he envied George. He envied his freedom and his ability to give Alanna that freedom. Jon knew that many people would easily risk their lives to have his position. He was the king of a powerful country. He had a beautiful queen, and every reason to be content. But looking at them made him long for something he could never have.

Alanna was fidgeting. _She hates these sorts of things._ He had been half surprised to see her in a dress. Perhaps it was being away from court that made her more comfortable. _With me she would have never had that comfort._ She looked amazing in a soft ivory gown, offset by her flaming hair. He thought of his own elaborate wedding weeks before. Thayet had looked stunning as she always did. Thinking of Thayet made him smile. Since her coronation she had gracefully assumed her role as co-ruler of Tortal. He knew his mother would have liked her, had they ever met. She had been so shy at first. It had been confusing and refreshing to work at gaining her affections. Alanna was right; the court ladies had spoiled him. He glanced at his wife and love and quietly took her hand. _I guess you found a good successor._ He thought to the violet eyed woman in front of him.

At that moment those purple eyes met his sapphire ones. He knew she read his thoughts, as he read hers. It was just a moment's glance, but it told him so much. He supposed that was something they would loose now that their lives would keep them apart. Looking at her he knew he would miss her. His Lioness, the one who made him laugh, the one who knocked him down when his head got too high.

He remembered her wearing a black wig and strolling about the palace late at night. He remembered the strength of her fears and his own when they had given in to their emotions.

He had returned from the desert resenting her. Later he came to realize that he resented her being right. She had said nothing wrong and he had been unfair to her. Pride kept him from realizing what was best for her. At the time he had been naïve enough to think that love was all that was needed for a perfect marriage. But her love for him could not compel her to sacrifice her life for him, just as he could not give up his life for her. He remembered asking her to marry him one last time. He had wanted her to say "yes", and at the same time he had known what her answer would be, before it left her lips.

But glancing into her eyes, he knew that he loved her, as she loved him. As two people who had been through so much together, it was impossible for them not to love each other. She would always be a part of him.

Standing before a Mithran priest the couple exchanged vows, only audible to each other. The two lover's eyes shown when they exchanged rings and smiles. Jon watched George draw Alanna into a long romantic kiss. When he released her, she was both beaming and blushing furiously. It had been awhile since Jonathan had seen her smile like that.

After the ceremony he stood away from the party, watching the waves lap at the sandy shore, before shrinking away into the vastness of the sea. His thoughts were far too complicated for him to put on an air of happiness. His friends would see through any act, particularly Alanna. He wanted this to be a time for her to celebrate, not ponder on his moodiness. Thayet was well occupied with being a social queen.

"Jon?" A cool voice asked. He jumped when he felt Alanna's touch on his shoulder. "Sorry to disturb you mister anti-social." She teased. "Oh wait, it's Your Anti-Socialness." She gave a mock curtsy.

_There she goes making me laugh again._

She cocked her head inquisitively at him." A copper for your thoughts?" She inquired, looking at him with mild concern.

"Hmm? Oh, I just wanted to see what your view would be every day now. He managed a weak smile at her.

"Ha, I probably won't see this often at all. Doubtless I'll have plenty to do to keep me busy."

"Does George know these plans?"

She smiled a bit sheepishly. "Not exactly, but I'm sure he assumes."

"Oh yes, I'm sure he does." Jon said with sincere sarcasm.

She playfully hit his arm. He pretended to rub it, grinning at her as he did. Turning serious he met her eyes. "I hope some of those journeys lead you to Corus."

"And why is that?" she didn't meet his eyes; her voice was no higher than a whisper.

"Oh, you know how I get when I haven't been properly argued with in some time." He grinned at her.

She smiled. "I think Thayet can handle that."

"I will miss you Alanna. I hope you won't forget about me when you are doing all these great deeds."

"Of course I won't, Jon." Her eyes were sincere. "Besides-" She was looking mischievous "Who else will I curse as I'm treading through Galla in a snow-storm on some mission for the crown, if not you dear King?"

He laughed. He thought about tousling her red hair before he remembered that it was piled neatly in an array of curls on her head. He recalled watching her as a squire attempting to arrange her hair in such a manner.

"Jon?" He blinked, breaking the memory from his eyes.

"Yes?"

"I said come back to the party with me. You owe me at least one dance at least for all those times I've saved your life."

"Of course, Lioness." As she took his arm and led him back he realized that no matter what, she would always be his Lioness.

A/N: please don't flame me! I'm a good person. :D honest….


End file.
